Introdution
Chapter 1 - Been There, Done That
Chapter 2 - Injuries: Tips for Prevention, Treatment, Recovery
Chapter 3 - Case Studies: Meet My Friends
Chapter 4 - Use this Information
Correspondence Course Assignments
Online Course Descriptions
"How to Order."
My Healing & Recovery
Fitness Program Plan
Healing Visualization
In mid-September 1996 I incurred a complex break (three fractures) in my right arm, on the humerus, which required surgical repair. The installation of a metal plate, screws and teflon wires left an 8-inch scar on my right tricep muscle. The estimated recovery time was five to six months.
That Wednesday morning at about 11:00am, I completed an enjoyable flight on my hang glider and then prepared for and executed what looked and felt like a good landing. Then I tripped and fell landing straight armed, while the nose wire of the glider hit my arm from behind. My foot was stuck in the harness, making me think that had partially caused the accident.
Sudden accidents that change your current life and future plans are overwhelming and produce reactions that are not very rational. My initial reaction was disbelief. I had a schedule to keep for that day. I was starting a new fitness instructor training program and planned to lecture that night. While on the way to the hospital I figured I would get the break set and be at my workshop by 6:30 pm. Two hours later, when I had no choice except surgery, I made the decision to postpone the workshop until the following week.
I also attempted to deny that the injury was as bad as it was. The next day I tried to go to work. After my students' shocked reaction at my being there in such a condition, I had to force myself to realize that I should go home and rest. However, I missed only three days of work.
On Saturday I had to present a workshop of major importance in Phoenix. My son drove me up and I gave the lecture. It was ironic. My lecture was on the subject of problem solving and quality improvement in the fitness business. My introduction was a comparison of how to reduce the risks in business to how to reduce the risks in hang gliding. I used the introduction anyway, with a side-bar that it's impossible to foresee every possible risk, and problems still can happen. (Then I showed them how to solve those problems.)
Injury often makes active people feel worthless and lowers their self-esteem. While I was grateful that I could still teach fitness classes by decreasing the intensity and talking more, I had times when I felt that I let myself down because I had an accident and damaged my body. I found myself reviewing the accident over and over, looking for the reason it happened or what I did wrong: "Did I really land properly? Tony and Megan both said it looked good. Did the momentum cause me to hit hard when I fell over? Probably. Did this accident produce a fear? Yes. Do I blame the sport? If I hadn't been flying, I wouldn't have been in the field, attached to the glider, in a position to fall. But it wasn't a hang gliding "crash". Tony said he had never seen an accident like it before. If I hadn't been in that field would I have fallen elsewhere that day? I could get hurt anywhere, slipping in the shower, a car accident, going downstairs. At least I was having fun when it happened. Slipping in the shower is such a mundane way to have an accident. A car accident is more frightening to me than flying. (I really panic at times on the highway. You have no control over the other person.) At least in the air, there is only me, the glider, and the wind. If I had fallen going downstairs at the health club where I work, I probably would have had a large audience. That would have been a klutzy sight!" These were the thoughts I reviewed over and over. I finally concluded that if I HAD to have an accident, that I had a pretty cool one.
Anger, envy and jealousy are common reactions to an accident and can be directed at oneself and others for being unable to perform at the usual level. Because my injury made it impossible to participate in upper body activity, I found myself a spectator of a sport I enjoyed. I felt very envious when I saw my friends "playing" in the sky. While I applauded their good flights, I also cried a lot while watching them. But after I acknowledged the sadness and allowed a time to feel the "negative" emotions (including tears), I then focused on getting on with life.
I feel fortunate that one of my mental habits is to handle emergency or surprise situations by immediately asking myself questions: "What can I do to handle this in the best way? How can I make this situation a learning experience? What do I need to do to cope in the most positive way I can?" So even though I did experience anger, sadness, and depression, it was intermixed with my basic philosophy of life. I feel reality is a mixture of positive and negative, and if we don't allow both to be a normal part of life, we're missing something.
I acknowledge that negative things happen. Even if I don't like a change, I make every effort to accept it as part of life and deal with it. If you open yourself to the possibilities and opportunities in a situation, something good will come from it. Here are the conclusions I came to about my situation.
I asked myself, "How can I reap a positive outcome from my injury?" I chose to research injuries and rehabilitation, get other peoples' stories about injuries, learn about overcoming fear after an accident, and write a course. (Which you are reading now!)
My broken arm also allowed me:
Overall, I am in awe of the capacity for the human spirit to adapt, physically and mentally, to the situation, if you just allow it to happen. I am totally inspired now by the stories of others who overcome their personal obstacles and live the life they desire.
ROUND 1
This is the summary of my healing report.
Five days after the accident and surgery the staples were removed from the incision. I was fortunate that my arm wasn't put in a cast, just a hard splint and two elastic bandages. That way I could take a shower. (Can you imagine teaching aerobics 12 times a week without being able to wash that arm?) Everybody I came in contact with was grateful for that recovery method whether they knew it or not. My doctor realized that I would be back to teaching in a short amount of time, so he treated my fracture in this very humane way.
During the next month I was amazed at the ability my left hand had to adapt to being the dominant one. I could do everything I needed to do, except put my hair in a ponytail. (Thanks family members!) Fortunately, since I broke the humerus and not the forearm, my right hand did work for somewhat messy handwriting.
At the five week check-up, I was told my arm was healing fast. On October 9 I could start leaving off the splint and sling while at home and begin flexing my arm, but I was not supposed to straighten it. I still had to wear the splint while teaching fitness classes and sleeping. By the beginning of November I decided to stop using the splint. My arm had atrophied enough that it didn't fit. I still used the sling when I wasn't at home.
On November 9 I started arm extensions; straightening it! Up until now I had used the sling still during class, but after my doctor's visit on November 20 my arm was FREE! X-rays showed the bone was in the right position, although the cracks were still visible. I could do range of motion exercises and lift light weights until my mid-January exam. The doctor believed I would be able to train it back to full use.
The doctor estimated 6 months until I could do anything I wanted with my arm. It was a disappointment as I was hoping for complete recovery by January instead of March. But each day I could do more with my arm than the day before. Once I was allowed to start moving my arm, I began daily tracking of the amount of improvement in my flexibility. I also noticed the things I was able to do more easily, such as tying my shoes, using my computer, carrying a cup of coffee, etc. When an injury causes cessation of function, any improvement is notable. I was tempted to push myself into doing more than I knew I should, so I had to look ahead to the total recovery I planned to have.
Compensating physically while my arm was immobilized seemed to contribute to left side "mini-injuries." My left ankle bothered me. I used my left arm during fitness classes to demonstrate upper body exercises, and my left shoulder had some extra pains. My left thumb had a skin crack that hurt worse than the broken arm. It was that sharp "cut myself" pain that is so annoying.
In December I noticed that the way my arm felt when I moved it was both scary and funny. Sometimes I had control of it and other times it felt like spastic jello. Then I had to really focus on it mentally, because I felt like it might develop a mind of its own and do some very weird movements, which would be embarrassing while teaching aerobics and painful while putting in my contact lenses.
After I got over my initial recovery period, I began thinking about my physical training that would get me back into pre-accident condition. Even though my upper body movement was limited, I wanted to prevent the loss of cardiovascular conditioning and leg strength. When I had my initial accident I had the goal of flying again in the spring, so I included some cardiovascular training to prepare for the running I would have to do during the initial re-training period on the small hills. As time progressed I wanted to regain all of my muscle strength and tone, plus more.
I developed a progressive routine for the next few months.
Gradually include:
I began my rehabilitation fitness program two weeks after the accident. It consisted of:
October 9, after 5 weeks:
Begin arm movement; flexion only through as many positions as possible 2-3x daily.
November 9, after 9 weeks:
Begin arm extension, through as many positions as possible 2-3x daily
November 20:
Full range of motion exercises daily
Upper body routine with light weights (under 10 lbs.) 3x per week
November 24:
Began Yoga 3x week. By December 1 I notice a difference in my range of motion and
flexibility.
In late December I was frustrated at my slow progress in regaining any sign of arm strength. At times there was a strange feeling in my arm and it was still sore, but I didn't know if it was due to weather changes or something else. On January 14 I had a check-up and x-ray. Most of the fractures were calcified, but there was a 1/2 inch edge that hadn't healed. I got to use an electric stimulator at night and lift a whopping 3-5 lbs. of weight for strength training. I was really frustrated, disappointed, and angry.
I wondered if I had pushed too hard. I didn't feel I had gone beyond my limits, but after that checkup I doubted myself. Maybe I hurt it when I forgot which arm to use to close my very heavy car door. I remembered a distinct pain when I did that. I was so careful while exercising, but real life seemed to be working against me.
What could I do? My mind was crying, "Will I EVER recover and get to fly again? Or
do other things that require my arm: cycling, boxing aerobics, inline skating, river
rafting, or even pushups. (Yes, I even missed pushups!) As long as this recuperation seems
to be taking, will I ever want to take any more risks?"
ROUND 2
On January 21 the diagnosis was made official; a non-union of one fracture. (It didn't
heal.) It looked even worse on the x-ray by then and one of the screws was coming out
which accounts for the popping I felt in my arm and elbow. My arm was placed in a cast
that would immobilize a battleship, from my hand all the way up to and digging into my
armpit. I was instructed to continue using the electrical stimulator which didn't fit and
was not guaranteed to promote full healing. This "iffy" treatment would require
a minimum of three months.
When I first got injured I treated it more as an adventure into an area of the unknown. I had never had a serious injury before and was probably in a state of denial or injury ignorance. I also had such a serious feeling of responsibility and didn't want to slow down at work. I just modified and kept going to prove that I was OK and capable. I had this attitude from September until January. When this non-union was diagnosed it hit me hard physically and emotionally. I was in essence starting over, as if the injury had just occurred. After one week of tears and depression, I made an appointment for a second opinion. During this stressful time I also caught the winter's version of the flu. I decided to take much of February and the whole month of March off of work, with regard to teaching aerobics.
A long three week wait to see another orthopedic surgeon seemed like months. The diagnosis was what I suspected, but a shock anyway. I needed a second surgery in the form of a bone graft, using bone from my hip, and a new, longer metal plate. The doctor was also concerned about the loss of motion in my arm due to being immobilized the second time. I took a week to think about it before scheduling surgery, a week to recover from the flu and sort things out.
I spent that week getting feedback from other people in the medical field. In general nobody seemed to place much faith in the electrical stimulator treatment. I tried to find out more about this new doctor and through the grapevine discovered that he is very well respected. I scheduled the surgery.
Since the damage had been done with the non-union of injury I was instructed to work on the range of motion in my arm prior to the surgery.
The surgery was pronounced successful. I didn't even have a cast, just an ace bandage over the dressing. When I first broke my arm, the surgery started at 3 pm and I was awake and sent home by 8 pm the same day. This time, probably due to the bone graft, I went into surgery at noon and was not even aware of anything until about 6 pm, when I found myself in the hospital room with tubes coming out of every part of my body. After a restless night of self injected pain medicine, I wondered if I would feel good enough to go home the next day. But the next day at noon, after all the surgical accessories were removed and I was assisted with my first post-op walk, I felt better. By 4 pm I was on my way home.
I spent the next two days laying on the couch watching movies and taking pain medication. I had no desire to prove that I could go to work as if nothing happened. I still had a full two weeks off and I planned to relax and heal (and do the range of motion exercises the doctor assigned me).
By the weekend I was ready to get out of the house, and it felt good despite the fact that the incision in my hip from the bone graft reminded me it was there with each step. I went out for breakfast with family members. Each day I felt better, but surprisingly, I was really enjoying the time to relax. It's very ironic, and I certainly won't recommend the method to anyone, but I lost weight during this month I took off of work (and exercise). Even though I knew it was muscle weight I lost, I liked the way it looked. And I liked the way I felt: rested. I also was enjoying the extra time with my family and in my home. After working practically non-stop for 12 years teaching 10+ fitness classes per week, my body seemed to appreciate and respond positively to some rest. It's so hard to choose moderation when the activity is part of your income.
The next weekend I did a nice easy-paced walk through the woods in some beautiful mountains. It felt great and I knew I was ready to start adding some activity into my schedule. I decided to start walking several times during the next week. The next day I saw the doctor, got the stitches removed, and was assigned more range of motion exercises.
Since January when it was discovered that the fracture hadn't healed properly, I sometimes cried and wondered why I had to have an injury that didn't heal right when other less fit people may not have any problems. Part of me came to the conclusion that I had more that I needed to learn about healing and this book wouldn't be complete without it. I found that some of my views changed drastically in one short month. For one thing, I learned to enjoy a slower, more relaxed pace in life.
I've also rethought the place hang gliding has in my life. First let me state that I love the thought of being in the air. More deeply, though, I miss all the other activities I used to do. I miss inline skating, cycling, weight training, river rafting, etc. as much as I miss flying. Even though I can teach fitness classes with one arm, there are a lot of opportunities that I have missed because of this long injury process. If I had a desk job I would return to hang gliding. But because I really enjoy my work and it requires a working body, I don't ever want to lose it again. I began to weigh what is the most important to me. While I love to fly, everything else seems to be on the other plate of the scale. I definitely don't want to ever break my arm again. If I had a normal healing process, I probably would be back in the air.
I have to admit to a fear at the thought of landing and falling. It's something I feel unable to face at this time. I know I should listen to my gut level feeling. So I weigh the risk and make the decision (for this time at least) to not plan on returning to hang gliding. I find that the pressure is gone and I can relax and plan for the future. I feel that sacrifices (temporarily) are sometimes the best solution for emotional peace. My goals become to:
I started keeping a log of my recovery since I have a tendency to expect miraculous progress and need to see the steady improvements.
My attitudes toward exercise and teaching are shifting in a positive direction. I want to explore other exercise disciplines in more detail. Tai Chi will be good for my range of motion, then Yoga when the arm is strong enough to support some weight. I want to add some of these to my classes, along with more dance oriented movement. I will still teach step aerobics, but desire to include these other disciplines for variety.
I enjoy including Mind/Body techniques in my healing process. I use positive affirmations for healing:
Here is a visualization I like to do :
"Lying down or seated comfortably, gradually relax the body, one part at a time. Allow your mind to focus on your breathing, inhaling and exhaling to a four-count.
Close your eyes and see the screen in front of your mind's eye. As you watch see it being gradually filled with the color blue. Allow it to completely fill your vision. Watch the color and see it becoming a part of a very special place you are going to enter. See details of this location beginning to take shape until you feel you are standing in this very special place. Begin to look around you. Look straight ahead and notice what you can see. Look to the right and see everything that you can. Look to the left and notice how this view differs from the other directions. Decide which direction you want to walk.
Begin walking. As you walk notice how the air feels against your skin. Is it warm? Cool? Is the air moving with a breeze? How does the ground feel beneath your feet as you walk? What new things do you see as you walk? Begin to focus on any sounds you can hear. What do you think is making the sounds? Do you smell any scents in the air? Where are they coming from? As you walk, use every sense to explore this special place.
As you walk, begin to look for a place you would like to sit down. Have a seat and continue to enjoy this special place. Notice how you feel about being here. What describes your emotions at this time. As you observe your feelings, begin to think about how being in this special place can help you focus on healing of your body and your spirit. If you have any particular areas in need of care and healing, take a few minutes and let the healing power of this special place gently run through you.
Return your focus to watching a favorite detail in this special location. Look at it
and as you do, see it start to gradually fade and the color blue take its place. Allow the
color to again fill your mind's eye. Watch as this color gradually dissolves until you see
the screen of you mind's eye. Begin to focus on your breathing, inhaling and exhaling to
the four-count. Begin to become aware of your body and gradually start stretching and
gently moving, it beginning with the fingers and toes, then moving in toward the torso.
When you are ready you may move your body into another position and open your eyes."
This isn't the end of my recovery process, but it is where I am concluding my account for this course. I do want you to know that I am regarding the future in a very positive, active light.
The following chapters will give you information about injury prevention and treatment, and you will read about other active people who coped with various injuries.
Introdution
Chapter 1 - Been There, Done That
Chapter 2 - Injuries: Tips for Prevention, Treatment, Recovery
Chapter 3 - Case Studies: Meet My Friends
Chapter 4 - Use this Information
Correspondence Course Assignments
Online Course Descriptions
"How to Order."